Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
