I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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