GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
