Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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