You can't special order awesome
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
