idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
