it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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