you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
