He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
