Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
