i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Shame - the story of my life.
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