For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
