i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
