quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
