I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
