Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
