garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
