Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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