: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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