she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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