I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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