wakey wakey hands off snakey
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
