turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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