Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
wow bdsm is so cute
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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