3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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