I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just pee around me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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