Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
