I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
