belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
