Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
