It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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