just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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