too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
