the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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