Those balls look pretty dangerous.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
