I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
