Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
