Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
