So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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