I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
