that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
