I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
