Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
