i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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