I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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