just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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