she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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