super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
there is puke in my bra ... again
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