Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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