nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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