Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
