Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
