Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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